Somatic narcissists focus their self-love on their physical attractiveness and body. Looking good is top on their list of priorities, which is why they put excessive amounts of time, effort and energy into refining their appearance. A relationship with a somatic narcissist begins with an intensive ‘chasing period’ in which the woman is pursued and charmed until sexual conquest is made (these guys don’t give up once they have you in their sights). The chase is then followed by the ‘devaluation/discard’ phase where the somatic narcissist loses interest once he has ‘won’ the chase and secured his narcissistic supply.

Learn The 8 Signs of The Somatic Narcissist

Hunky Chad Choad is a somatic narcissist. There are three things he loves in this world: his abs, his wheels, and the pursuit of sexual conquest.

You wouldn’t be the first to think he’s Mr Irresistible.

But a word of advice to you my dear lady friends: Chad’s all about the chase.

So stay savvy and stay one step ahead so that you don’t become just another notch on his bedpost – learn the 9 signs of the somatic narcissist.

Sign One – Bitch Tits
There’s a reason Chad can pound the gym for hours every day – he injects the help of his special little friend. Pros: bulging biceps. Cons: bitch tits.

Sign Two – Window Slut
Because he knows he’s so damn good looking, he can’t help but check himself out in every reflective surface. “Ain’t my fault I’m god’s gift to women!”

Sign Three – Whores and Angels
There are only two kinds of women in Chad’s misogynistic world. As long as he’s still trying to get you out of your knickers, you’re the kind who’s wearing a shining white halo.

Sign Four – Badge of Ignorance
Chad’s not just dumb, he’s proud of being ignorant. “Me, I’ve never read a book in my life darling!”

Sign Five – All Mouth and No Trousers
You were expecting fireworks, sexual acrobatics and multiple orgasms cos that’s what he bragged about.
‘How many orgasms did you have?’
‘-Err, none’.

Sign Six – Shallow as a Puddle
Don’t try and dive deep with Chad because there’s nothing beneath the surface. He doesn’t know the language of feelings and emotion scares the shit out of him.

Sign Seven – King of Selfies
His life is more amazing, more fun and more glamourous than yours will ever be. He’s got hundreds of selfies to prove it.

Sign Eight – Home Salon
Looking fresh takes time and mega stash of beauty products. Although it does come in handy sometimes – Forgot your tinted lip balm – just ask Chad!

Remember the 8 Tell-tale signs of a somatic narcissist so that you’re ready and armed next time Chad comes knocking: ‘Sorry love, I’m not into bitch tits’.

It’s a jungle out there ladies.

Stay smart. Stay ahead.