Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – Book Review

Quick Summary: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride provides a healing roadmap towards self-love and self-acceptance for women who were unloved by their mothers. The book explores the origin, symptoms and legacy of the painful and dissatisfying relationship that exists between a narcissist mother and her daughter, while also providing practical advice for establishing healthier boundaries between the two.

Who’s It For? This book is for women with strained or painful relationships with their mothers who seek healing. Narcissistic mothers take vastly different guises from being smothering and over-involved in every aspect of a daughter’s life, to being neglectful and absent. Not all narcissistic mothers are easy to spot on the surface, however, you will know if you are dealing with one if either you feel unloved by her or you have been given the message that who you are just isn’t good enough. If you are not sure whether your mother is a narcissist, Dr. Karyl McBride provides a test in the book for you to assess how highly your own mother scores in traits of narcissism.

Why Should You Invest In This Book?: Dr. Karyl McBride has herself passed through the step-by-step recovery process which she outlines in the book. This gives a personal as well as therapeutic touch to her writing; she can identify with anyone who knows what it is like not to experience the loving support of a mother in her life because she has personally been there. The crux of the healing process she outlines is that daughters must allow themselves to feel out their pain and to allow all their sadness, anger, shame and unworthiness to come to the surface. It is only by feeling our emotions as part of the recovery process that we can release them and move towards healing acceptance of our narcissistic mothers. In sharp contrast to our narcissistic mothers who do not allow themselves to feel their authentic feelings, we must learn how to express ours.

Dr. Karyl McBride has healed her own wounds in relation to her narcissistic mother which means she is able to see the bigger picture and to express empathy even towards the narcissistic mothers themselves. Her perspective on maternal narcissism is that it is passed down through the generations from mother to mother and that in most cases the mothers themselves are completely unconscious of their hurtful actions. As daughters progress in their healing, they will learn how to accept their mothers and forgive them.

As myself a daughter of a narcissistic ignoring mother, this book hit a nerve on more than one occasion and spoke great, open-hearted truth to me. I highly recommend it to anyone who still carries the wound of not feeling worthy in the eyes of her mother.

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